Posts Tagged ‘Daily Bedpost’

The Daily Bedpost weighs in on Tango’s Marriage Without Monogamy column, again

March 27, 2008 Leave a comment

photoboothanimated.gifOnce again, the incredibly smart Sex & Relationship journalists known as Em & Lo have weighed in on the relationship I’ve been recently chronicling for Apparently, a good friend of Em & Lo’s accused them of having an anti-open relationship bias after he read their original post about Carrie and me. The friend’s comment seems to have hit the two of them hard, and I know exactly how they feel. During my stint as the Pittsburgh City Paper’s music editor, I was almost constantly taking shit from readers who felt I was a horrible journalist because I didn’t happen to share their exact taste in obscure noise-rock, or because I wasn’t covering enough local music, or because I was covering too much local music. 

The first time this happened, I actually cried. Sounds silly, I know. But people I’d never even met — and a few people I had met — were dissecting my worth on an online message board, of all things. I spent two or three days straight wondering if maybe they were right. Maybe I was a horrible journalist and a terrible writer. For a while, I literally couldn’t think about anything else for more than a few minutes at a time. But eventually I started to realize that these people were whining and moaning about my work for reasons that had almost nothing whatsoever to do with my work. And these days, when I write an article or an essay for a website and readers fill the comments section with nasty little quips, I’m practically thrilled. Why? Because it’s proof positive that I’ve touched a nerve — and that someone out there is reading my work.

However! I’m not sure I’ve ever had my work questioned by a close friend, as in Em & Lo’s situation. That can’t feel good. But try to keep your chins up, ladies — you’re among the very best sex journalists in the business — no question about it. To learn more about Em & Lo, visit


Having Our Cake & Eating It Too

March 25, 2008 1 comment

Now that I actually have a chance to sit back and think about it, I guess I always did expect the Marriage Without Monogamy column I’ve been writing for Tango to hit a few nerves. But I honestly didn’t expect to see the level of interest I’m seeing now. I can thank the Huffington Post, I suppose, for my first hint that this thing was going to be big. Someone there posted excerpts of my first two essays on the front page of the site’s Living section, and boy did the hate mail ever flow. I don’t think I managed to accomplish more than five or 10 minutes of work on the day I noticed that the Huff Post had picked the column up — I must have refreshed my browser a hundred times before I realized the work day was just about over, and all I had to show for it was a sore index finger. The thiong is, it’s just such an absolutely surreal feeling to sit by helplessly as perfect strangers tell the world how and why you are such a vile, nasty creature. Sigh.

(Update: An excerpt from the third Marriage Without Monogamy column just went live on the Huffington Post under the title, Open Relationships: What the World Needs Now?)

All that attention on the Huffington Post did turn into something bigger and more positive, however: I heard from an editor, who informed me that the excerpts of my Tango essays were actually clocking some of the site’s highest hit numbers. She also kindly invited me to start writing about Sex & Relationships for the site’s Living section, so as soon as I can come up with a few decent ideas, I’ll put together my first Huffington Post piece, and I’ll be sure to link to that essay here.  

Even more exciting than all that was the press the column got this morning on the Daily Bedpost, a Conde Nast blog written by Em & Lo  — you’ve probably read their Mating column in New York magazine. My good friend and amateur photographer Paul Severin did a photo-shoot with Carrie and me this past weekend specifically for the Daily Bedpost mention, and the picture above is the shot they used for the site. Ever since the post went live this morning, I’ve been telling people that the photo reminds me of the cover art on Fatboy Slim’s Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars, which sort of existentially describes where Carrie and are living these days…